High Sensitivity 101

Unlocking Sensitivity: Recognizing the Signs of a Sensitive Child

Hi, I'm Jill!

I’m a mama-in-training of a highly sensitive son. I love yoga pants, dungeness crab season, and working from my San Francisco flat in my PJs. My mission? To help other mamas raise a thriving highly sensitive child without losing their ever-lovin’ minds!

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Moms, are you constantly wondering why your child reacts so strongly to things? Perhaps they’re easily overwhelmed by a busy day, get upset over clothing textures, or burst into tears at a slight change in plans. You might be noticing the signs of a sensitive child. Let me assure you – this doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your kiddo.

It just means they experience the world a little more deeply than some other children. Roughly 15-20% of the population is made up of sensitive people, so you’re not alone. Being a highly sensitive person isn’t a weakness; in fact, it comes with some amazing strengths like heightened empathy, sharp intuition, and a special appreciation for beauty.

In this post, you’ll learn to recognize the signs of a sensitive child and discover how to nurture their unique strengths while navigating those big emotions. With a little understanding and patience, we can create a world where our highly sensitive kids can truly blossom.

Emotional Intensity – Living Life in High Definition

Imagine experiencing everything with the volume turned up – that’s everyday life for your highly sensitive child. Sounds, lights, emotions – it all hits differently for them. What might seem like a minor annoyance to some can feel overwhelming to a child with high sensitivity.

For example, as Bethany Cook, a licensed clinical psychologist, explains, “A sensitive child can become overstimulated with excitement and struggle to stop ‘racing around and screaming’ while another may cry every time they are startled.

Even seemingly positive events like a birthday party, with all its excitement and noise, can leave your little one feeling completely drained. It’s essential to understand they’re not being difficult on purpose. This intensity is just a part of their highly sensitive brain.

Spotting Emotional Intensity:

  • Extreme reactions: Their emotional highs and lows may be more pronounced. Think exuberant joy followed by tears of frustration.
  • Quick to pick up on others’ emotions: You might notice them mirroring the mood of the room or becoming upset if someone nearby is sad. This ability to tune into others’ feelings is a superpower of empathy.
  • Easily overstimulated: Busy environments with loud noises or bright lights may leave them feeling overwhelmed or irritable. They might also need a quiet space after a social event to recharge.

Sensory Sensitivities: When the World Feels Too Much

For sensitive kids, processing everyday sensory input is like walking a tightrope without a net. From the feeling of scratchy tags in clothes to the loud flushing of a toilet, it’s all magnified in their world.

These sensitivities aren’t a choice or a behavioral issue, but rather, a difference in how their nervous system processes information. Certain smells and textures may be difficult for them to process. They may reject foods or have a hard time with public bathrooms. This can lead to them being labeled as “picky” or “difficult,” but it’s important to remember that they’re not doing it on purpose.

Clues That Point to Sensory Sensitivity:

  • Picky eater: Certain smells, tastes, or textures may send them running in the other direction. They may stick to a limited menu of “safe” foods, and even a tiny speck of something “offensive” can ruin an entire meal.
  • Clothing Catastrophes: They’ve got a sixth sense for finding that itchy tag, stray thread, tight seam, or annoying hair clip. This often leads to epic meltdowns before school and an ever-growing pile of clothes they “just can’t wear”.
  • Overwhelmed By Noise: The whirring of the vacuum cleaner, the school bell, a dog barking… for your little one, these sounds can be jarring and uncomfortable. This can result in them trying to escape loud situations or, conversely, always needing their music playing to drown out other noises.

 

The Need for Control: In a World That Feels Unpredictable

Let’s face it, for a sensitive soul, life can feel like a rollercoaster you never signed up for. All that intense emotion and sensory overload can be truly exhausting. To cope, these little planners often seek a sense of control in their environment. This might manifest as strong preferences, needing things “just so,” or a dislike of surprises.

Their heightened awareness of details, which allows them to notice even subtle changes in their surroundings or routines, can fuel their need to maintain some semblance of order. It is not uncommon for these children to have bigger reactions to everyday situations.

Signs of a Sensitive Child Seeking Control:

BehaviorWhy They Do It
Insistence on routinesPredictability = Safety. Knowing what comes next eases anxiety and helps them feel secure.
Difficulty with transitionsSwitching gears takes time. From getting ready in the morning to moving between activities, they benefit from gentle reminders and advance notice.
Strong need for orderThink color-coded toys or carefully arranged belongings. External order often helps them create a sense of calm within.

Nurturing Your Sensitive Child

Parenting a sensitive soul is a journey of its own. The traditional “tough love” approach just won’t cut it. Embrace the incredible strengths and beautiful quirks of their sensitive nature. They see and feel the world in a truly extraordinary way.

Embrace these strategies:

  • Validation Is Key: Don’t try to downplay or reason away their big feelings. Instead, acknowledge their experience. For example, “I know that loud noise really hurt your ears, it’s okay to feel upset.”
  • Create a Safe Haven: Having a calming space at home, like a cozy nook filled with sensory items (think blankets, pillows, and soft toys), can provide solace during moments of overwhelm.
  • Offer Choices – Empower Don’t Overwhelm: Help them manage decision-making by presenting two options whenever possible. “Would you like to wear your blue shirt or your green one today?”
  • Foster Emotional Intelligence: Give them the language to understand their rich inner world. Talking about feelings helps them build valuable emotional regulation skills for life.

 

The Profound Advantages of Sensitivity

In a world often focused on “toughening up,” let’s celebrate these amazing little beings and nurture their sensitive hearts and minds. They remind us to pause, to appreciate the small stuff and lead with empathy. They offer a fresh perspective that can enrich our own lives.

Here’s the good news; these traits aren’t set in stone. With guidance and understanding, highly sensitive children can flourish in all aspects of life, building resilience while retaining the beauty of their sensitivity.

FAQs about signs of a sensitive child

What if my sensitive child’s behavior interferes with their daily life?

If you are concerned your child’s strong emotions are getting in the way of school, making friends, or simply enjoying being a kid – reach out for extra help.

A child psychologist specializing in high sensitivity can provide personalized guidance and teach coping mechanisms tailored to your child’s needs.

How can I help my child fit in when they’re always the “different” one?

Teach your little one to embrace their uniqueness as a superpower. Explain to them that everybody experiences things differently and their sensitive heart is a gift. Celebrate the fact that they have an incredible ability to connect deeply with others and the world around them. It’s important to help your children understand their feelings.

 

Conclusion

Parenting is rarely a walk in the park. But when you’re raising a sensitive child, the ride can be especially bumpy. I see you, moms. You’re doing a wonderful job navigating those big feelings and finding the balance between setting gentle boundaries and honoring their tender hearts.

It takes a lot of understanding to recognize the signs of a sensitive child, so if any of this resonates, you are already taking a huge step in the right direction. Now that you understand a little bit more about what makes your little one so uniquely special, continue to seek resources, trust your gut, and never underestimate the power of your unwavering love.

Unlocking Sensitivity: Recognizing the Signs of a Sensitive Child

Jill Gilbert

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