What is executive functioning? This powerful set of mental skills might not be something you consciously think about. But it’s the secret that allows us to effectively manage our thoughts, actions, and emotions. As parents, we often observe our little ones grappling with impulse control or struggling to stay focused on tasks. This is where understanding executive functioning can truly change our parenting approach, especially when raising highly sensitive children who often experience these challenges more intensely.
This concept of executive functioning isn’t new. Back in the 1990s, researchers like Baddeley and Hitch proposed a model for working memory. It highlighted how the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s “central executive,” is in charge of the cognitive processes that manage and manipulate information. Their research paved the way for a deeper understanding of how executive function impacts various aspects of our lives, from learning to social skills.
Imagine executive function as the “air traffic control system” of our brains, as explained by the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. Just as air traffic control keeps planes organized, directs their movements, and ensures smooth takeoffs and landings, executive function skills help us navigate our daily lives. They help us make plans, stay focused, manage time, remember information, and regulate our emotions.
While there are various models for understanding executive function, let’s keep it simple. We can break it down into three key areas: working memory, cognitive flexibility, and inhibitory control.
Working memory is like a mental sticky note where we briefly hold and manipulate information while working on a task. For example, let’s say you’re helping your child solve a math problem. Working memory allows them to hold the numbers in mind, apply the right formula, and remember the intermediate steps to arrive at the answer.
Difficulties with working memory can make it challenging to remember instructions, follow multi-step directions, or retain information while reading. This can be especially hard for highly sensitive children who might get easily overwhelmed with information overload and have trouble processing their speed. This is also commonly known as executive dysfunction.
Studies, like one published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, have found that challenges with working memory can impact a child’s academic skills and performance, particularly in areas like reading and math. This underscores how vital this core component is in everyday situations that require information processing. Additionally, this illustrates how important building executive function skills early is.
Cognitive flexibility is our ability to shift between different tasks or thought processes. It’s what allows us to adapt to change, see different perspectives, and switch our focus when needed. It’s about being mentally flexible.
For instance, imagine your child is engrossed in building a Lego tower when you announce it’s dinner time. Cognitive flexibility helps them smoothly transition from their play, leaving their creation unfinished without a major meltdown. It’s a vital skill that prevents rigidity, frustration, and resistance to change – common traits in many highly sensitive individuals.
Inhibitory control is our internal “braking system.” It enables us to resist impulses, control our behavior, and stop ourselves from acting on every thought or emotion. Inhibitory control is how we learn to control impulses.
Inhibitory control plays a critical role in helping a child resist the urge to interrupt during conversations or to prevent them from grabbing a toy from a friend, thereby promoting positive social interactions. Researchers have found a direct link between impaired inhibitory control and behavioral issues in children.
This can be particularly crucial for highly sensitive kids. They often have a heightened emotional experience, making it even more essential for them to develop strong inhibitory control to regulate their big feelings.
Let’s paint a picture with a couple of real-life parenting scenarios where executive functioning (or the lack of it) takes center stage.
It’s a school morning, and your little one is taking their sweet time getting dressed. They get distracted by toys or seem lost in their thoughts. Their working memory might be struggling to hold onto the steps involved in getting ready: grabbing their clothes, getting dressed, packing their backpack, and eating breakfast. This is where gentle reminders and visual aids – like a simple checklist they can follow – can be incredibly helpful.
Your highly sensitive child experiences a wave of frustration when they can’t solve a puzzle. This often leads to tears, anger, or even giving up altogether. This intense emotional response could signal a need for strengthening their inhibitory control. Teaching them techniques like deep breathing, taking a break, or expressing their feelings verbally can provide them with tools to manage their emotions more effectively.
While all kids benefit from developing strong executive function skills, these skills are even more crucial for our little deep thinkers and feelers. Research suggests that individuals, especially children, with a more sensitive temperament might find it more challenging to regulate their emotions and sensory experiences, directly impacting their executive function development.
Why does this happen? Because their brains are wired to process information more deeply and intensely, which can sometimes translate into feeling easily overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated. For instance, a highly sensitive child might become easily overstimulated in a noisy environment and might find it hard to focus on their teacher’s instructions. Their brain’s resources are occupied with filtering out distracting sounds or managing a heightened sensory experience, leaving less mental bandwidth for working memory and attention.
As parents, embracing a strength-based perspective can empower both us and our sensitive little ones. It’s not about viewing their sensitivity as a flaw but as a unique trait that comes with its own set of advantages. By understanding the connection between executive function and high sensitivity, we can offer support to help our children thrive and filter distractions with more ease.
The beauty of executive function is that it’s not set in stone. It can be nurtured and strengthened over time with practice, just like physical muscles. When we build executive function skills, we can better manage behavior in our children.
| Executive Function Area | Activities & Strategies |
|---|---|
| Working Memory | Memory games, storytelling with recall, repeating instructions, using visual aids |
| Cognitive Flexibility | Playing with different rules, role-playing different perspectives, engaging in open-ended play |
| Inhibitory Control | Red light, green light game, practicing patience (waiting their turn), using deep breathing or counting techniques |
Remember, fostering executive function isn’t about pushing our children to fit into a mold. Instead, we’re embracing their uniqueness and giving them tools to navigate the world confidently, one thoughtful step at a time. It’s about creating an environment where they feel understood, supported, and empowered to reach their full potential. We can support their brain development as they grow and learn how to prioritize tasks.
Think of executive functioning like a team of air traffic controllers in your brain. These skills help you plan, focus, remember things, and make good decisions. This is also called executive function.
While there isn’t a definitive “12 executive function skills” list universally agreed upon, they encompass a range of cognitive processes including:
The concept of executive functioning doesn’t always neatly fit into strict levels. However, if you’d like to break it down for simpler understanding, you could consider three broad aspects:
It’s important to remember that executive function disorder isn’t a reflection of intelligence. It just means certain mental processes require a little extra support and understanding.
What is executive functioning? It’s so much more than just a psychology term. By really understanding and nurturing our children’s executive function skills – working memory, flexibility, and that crucial inhibitory control – we equip them with the tools they need to confidently face the world around them. For our wonderfully sensitive kids, who feel and experience things with incredible depth, this support is even more vital, helping them to thrive, shine, and grow into the best versions of themselves.
What is Executive Functioning? A Guide for Moms
Jill Gilbert
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