One moment you’re feeling like Supermom, raising a highly sensitive child and juggling everything life throws your way with grace. And then suddenly, the weight of mom guilt presses down, making every decision feel heavy and filled with doubt. Whether it’s working late hours or allowing extra screen time just to catch a breath, that nagging sense of not doing enough can be relentless. But here’s the thing – overcoming mom guilt is not only possible; it’s essential for both your well-being and that of your family.
Let’s dive into some simple strategies you can use to help you overcome mom guilt and thrive in your role as the parent of a highly sensitive child.
Mom guilt is the feeling that you’re not doing enough as a parent. At its core, it stems from the profound and deep love and responsibility that we mothers feel towards our children. When you love and care so much for your child, of course you will take everything seriously when it comes to being a good mother to them.
In fact, you don’t just want to be a good mom, you want to be a perfect mom! Even if you logically know that perfection is unachievable.
So, when you turn the lights off for the night and lay in bed, sometimes those feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy start to creep in. You think about your day of juggling household tasks with parenting responsibilities and maybe dealing with unwanted opinions about your parenting decisions from family members.
Then comes the sense of guilt or shame that maybe you should be doing things differently.
These are all fears that play into mom guilt.
Dealing with typical mom guilt is hard enough, add in a highly sensitive child and it takes it to a whole ‘nother level. Your child requires extra care and understanding and sometimes it feels like maybe you aren’t cut out to be their parent. Maybe you aren’t patient enough or maybe your parenting style just doesn’t fit them.
It feels like you are navigating a completely different journey than other parents and sometimes you have no idea if you are doing the right thing to help your child. The doubt and shame of not being a perfect parent feel immense.
Spoiler alert: those fears aren’t reality. You are the right mom for them and we know that because here you are reading this article. A mother who doesn’t care about their child wouldn’t be here.
Here’s the deal—you will mess up. It’s inevitable and a good thing. It gives you an opportunity to show your child that you are not perfect and how to bounce back. Its a teaching moment.
Maybe you lost your cool and the lesson is how to apologize and how to take accountability for your own actions.
Maybe you accidentally left their favorite toy at the library and the lesson is that sometimes accidents happen.
Either way, what matters is embracing the imperfection, not blaming yourself for it.
Remember, it’s important to understand that you may feel guilty at times, but it is often because you care deeply about your role as a parent.
Feelings of guilt for being a working mom, losing your cool sometimes, or letting your kid have too much screen time are completely normal. When you experience mom guilt, it can be very helpful to practice self-compassion.
Being kind and understanding to oneself is a crucial aspect of self compassion. As a mother myself, I know it is important to recognize that we are often doing the best that we can with the tools that we have. You can’t beat yourself up for not knowing how to help your child. The important part is that you are trying.
Raising a highly sensitive child can be both a profoundly rewarding and uniquely challenging experience. As the parent of such special children, it’s easy to fall into the trap of pouring all your energy into meeting their needs while neglecting your own. However, embracing self-care is not just beneficial but essential for moms navigating this journey.
Take time to do things that bring YOU joy. Maybe its reading, yoga, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in silence before the day begins. Integrating these activities into your daily routine can significantly improve your well-being and parenting effectiveness.
Mom guilt has many origins, from personal insecurities to outside pressures from family, friends, social media, and other sources.
It’s so easy to look at social media and think someone else is a better mom than you. But you’re comparing your reality to her curated highlights reel. If you could see the reality behind it, you would see she feels just as inadequate as you do.
For many moms, it’s a matter of stopping the subconscious comparisons and regaining confidence in your own decisions for your family. Other moms may be doing things differently and it may seem like they have it all together and figured out. I promise, no one has a perfect life and comparing yourself with others only leads to more guilt.
As the mom of a highly sensitive child, you’ve probably heard from family, friends, and the random lady at the park, how you should be raising your child. Everyone loves to give their two cents but none of them really understand what it is like raising a highly sensitive child.
It can be difficult hearing those unwarranted opinions coming from all directions. It can bring on feelings of self-doubt, isolation, and guilt. It can make you feel like maybe you should be doing something different for your child.
But you know your child best. You know that the traditional parenting advice just doesn’t work.
Society loves to put people, especially kids, into boxes. They need to behave a certain way to be accepted. Yet, we know that everyone is unique in their own way and forcing compliance only stifles growth.
Mom guilt feels like you’re never doing enough, but it’s really about the huge love and responsibility you feel. Recognizing and tackling this guilt is key to a happier parenting journey. Embrace imperfection, practice self compassion, prioritize self-care, and remember: You’re doing great.
Motherhood can feel isolating at times, especially when you’re struggling with mom guilt. But you don’t have to go through it alone.
Connecting with other moms who get it can provide the emotional support you need to navigate the ups and downs. Whether it’s online or IRL, finding your people is key.
Start by joining Facebook groups for moms in your area who share your interests or following people on Instagram going through the same things as you. Calm Mama Revolution has our own Instagram Page for moms just like you, raising highly sensitive children. We understand your struggles firsthand and are here to support you. Follow us and don’t be afraid to send us a DM, we want to get to know you!
Offline, look for local mom groups or events at your library, church, or community center. Attending a family cooking class or a sensory gym (if you are lucky enough to have one close by!) can be a great way to meet other moms in a low-pressure setting.
Remember, building a supportive community takes time and effort. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t click with everyone right away. Keep putting yourself out there, and your people will find you.
And when you do, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share your struggles with mom guilt. Chances are, they’ve been there too and can offer some much-needed perspective and encouragement.
To stop feeling mom guilt, it’s important to cut yourself some slack, focus on what you’re doing right, and remember that perfection in parenting doesn’t exist.
The symptoms of mom guilt include frequent feelings of inadequacy, anxiety over parenting choices, and chronic stress. These are the telltale signs of mom guilt.
There’s no magic number for how long it takes to get used to being a mom. Each journey is unique, but give it time; comfort in your new role will grow.
So there we have it – a road map to navigating through the foggy terrain of mom guilt towards clearer skies. Remember, being perfect isn’t what makes you an amazing parent; showing up does—flaws and all. It turns out those mess-ups along the way aren’t signs of failure but markers on our journey toward growth.
Overcoming mom guilt means recognizing these moments not as setbacks but as stepping stones to becoming more present and forgiving parents (and people). After all, at day’s end when little heads rest in beds and quiet descends—that’s when we truly see how far love goes beyond any notion of ‘perfect’ parenting.
Overcoming Mom Guilt as The Parent of a HSC
Jill Gilbert
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