Are you a mother struggling with constant fatigue, emotional exhaustion, and feeling overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood? If this resonates, you might be experiencing mom burnout, a common yet often overlooked challenge for mothers.
Mom burnout goes beyond ordinary parenting stress. It is characterized by a deep sense of depletion, emotional distance from your children, and feelings of inadequacy as a mom.
Recognizing mom burnout starts with paying attention to your body and mind. Ask yourself: am I just tired, or is this something deeper? While fatigue is part of parenting, mom burnout manifests as a persistent feeling of depletion, no matter how much rest you get.
Emotional exhaustion is a key indicator. You might feel emotionally drained, unable to cope with the everyday demands of parenting. Irritability increases, and that short fuse becomes shorter.
You might find yourself snapping at your kids or partner more frequently. This irritability can morph into anger or even rage in some situations, leading to feelings of guilt and shame afterward.
This emotional fatigue often brings a sense of dread. Daily tasks that used to bring you joy now feel burdensome. You might start to withdraw emotionally, feeling disconnected from your children and partner. It’s as if a wall goes up, creating distance in your relationships.
Along with these emotional shifts comes a constant sense of inadequacy. You might feel like you’re failing as a mother, doubting your parenting abilities, and constantly comparing yourself to others. Negative self-talk creeps in — “I’m not good enough,” “I’m a terrible mother.” You may question your choices, longing for a time before motherhood felt so overwhelming.
Research on stress and maternal burnout indicates that feelings of cynicism, emotional distance, and reduced personal accomplishment are additional signs of this all-too-common syndrome. You may no longer feel like yourself as you struggle to find joy in your daily life.
The constant stress of mom burnout doesn’t just impact you emotionally; it takes a toll on your physical health as well. This chronic stress management can manifest in many physical symptoms:
Motherhood itself doesn’t cause burnout. It’s often a complex interplay of factors such as attempting to live up to unrealistic societal expectations, shouldering the mental load of the household, and lacking proper support from a partner.
We live in a society where moms are bombarded with messages about being “perfect” parents. The “Pinterest Mom” myth — always put-together with a spotless house, homemade organic meals, and perfectly behaved children — creates an impossible standard.
The constant pressure to measure up can leave moms feeling inadequate and depleted, particularly if they lack adequate social support. This need for “perfect” parenting, fueled by comparisons on social media, sets the stage for feeling like a failure. Many mothers report feeling as though they are in survival mode constantly.
Did you know? Research shows that lack of sleep contributes to both mental and physical exhaustion. Working moms who are not sleeping are at an even greater risk of burning out.
Mothers often prioritize their families’ needs above their own. It’s in a mother’s nature to nurture, right? While admirable, constantly putting others first without prioritizing self-care are some of the first red flags that can lead to burnout.
Lack of sleep, nutritious meals, exercise, and time for hobbies compound these feelings of overwhelm. It’s important for mothers to make time for themselves in their daily routines.
In a study published in the National Library of Medicine, social support was directly linked to stress reduction and increased resilience in individuals facing difficult situations. Think about it, wouldn’t it be great to share those frustrating potty training moments with another parent who truly “gets it”?
External stressors, such as financial strain, work-life imbalance, or relationship problems, can make the already demanding job of being a mom even more challenging.
For instance, juggling work, child care, and household responsibilities while dealing with a strained relationship with your partner or financial worries is a perfect storm for mom burnout. Add the societal pressure of “doing it all,” and it’s no wonder moms feel stretched thin. Family members often do not realize the mental load that moms carry for the entire family.
It’s crucial to remember that acknowledging burnout symptoms is not a sign of weakness. This is the first step toward reclaiming your well-being and finding joy in motherhood again.
Overcoming mom burnout doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all solution. It’s about finding what truly nourishes your mental, physical, and emotional well-being to lower stress levels. There is no right or wrong way to address mom burnout.
One crucial, though often difficult, step is learning to say no and establishing healthy boundaries. Remember that airplane oxygen mask analogy? You have to prioritize yourself to care for others effectively.
Give yourself permission to turn down extra commitments. Those bake sales, PTA meetings, and volunteer opportunities, while worthy, can wait when you are feeling drained.
Having a support network while you recover from burnout is a great resource to utilize. Break the silence — connect with other moms experiencing similar challenges. Consider joining a mom’s group, scheduling coffee dates with friends, or connecting with other parents at your child’s school.
Self-care is NOT selfish; it’s essential fuel for moms. Carve out time each day for things that refuel your spirit. Start with small, manageable steps:
If you’re struggling to manage alone, don’t hesitate to seek support from a licensed therapist. Therapists who specialize in mom burnout or perinatal mental health can help you navigate these challenging emotions, develop coping skills, and create a plan for recovery.
The World Health Organization (WHO), recognizing the serious nature of burnout, included it in the 11th revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). It is real and impactful on your overall health.
Mom burnout is that feeling deep within your soul where it seems as though your energy and spirit have completely left you, making you feel more like a shell than the “you” from before you became a mom.
While every mom will experience parenting stress at some point, experiencing mom burnout is a sign that you have likely been experiencing extreme stress for far too long without finding ways to process and let go of that pressure.
Explaining mom burnout to a partner who isn’t experiencing it firsthand can be tricky. A lot of times partners just don’t seem to fully understand, am I right? Start by sending them a link to a helpful article about the signs of burnout.
Sometimes that is enough. But, many times more than that is needed. Maybe start by picking a time when you’re both relaxed, and open the conversation by asking your husband, “Do you remember how much we used to talk about all sorts of things – you know, beyond the kids’ needs or what chores had to get done that day? That’s one way that I’m being affected.”
Often letting your partner know what’s going on internally and how they can offer concrete support can bridge the understanding gap. Let’s be honest, most spouses desperately WANT to be able to help their partners – they just need to be told how.
Recovering from burnout is a journey, and there’s no instant fix. Think of it like tending a garden that’s been neglected. It requires effort, patience, and time.
Some helpful tips are saying “no”, setting firm boundaries to protect your time, accepting that being “good enough” is okay, engaging in daily self-care rituals, seeking support from others, or exploring therapy.
Mom burnout is a shared experience, not a sign of weakness or failure. Acknowledging it is a significant first step toward healing. Give yourself permission to seek support, practice self-care, and challenge societal expectations.
You deserve to experience motherhood, not just endure it. By prioritizing your well-being, you not only help yourself but create a healthier and happier environment for your entire family.
Navigating Mom Burnout: Practical Tips for Stressed Mothers
Jill Gilbert
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