Parenting a child who is considered “twice-exceptional” (2e) is both profoundly rewarding and uniquely challenging. You see glimpses of your child’s immense potential shining through, but those moments are often overshadowed by struggles that seem to contradict their giftedness. It’s like having a race car with a bicycle brake – the power is there, but something’s holding it back. These mixed signals can be confusing and leave you feeling unsure of how best to support your child’s needs. But understanding the traits of twice-exceptional children is like getting a peek under the hood. You begin to see not just the disconnect, but the incredible engine that lies within, allowing you to tailor your parenting approach to provide the precise support your child needs to thrive.
Children labeled as “twice-exceptional” exhibit a fascinating paradox: they are both gifted and face learning or developmental hurdles. They may demonstrate advanced vocabulary and comprehension beyond their years while simultaneously battling dyslexia. They might be exceptional learners in school, but grapple with the social intricacies of navigating friendships. Let’s dive in to better understand what twice-exceptional really means, and how to support children who fall into this category.
The term “twice-exceptional,” sometimes shortened to “2e,” emerged to describe children who defied simple categorization. These bright minds didn’t fit neatly into the boxes of either “gifted children” or “learning differences.”
While pinpointing the term’s exact origin is tricky, its usage gained significant traction in the late 20th century. This coincided with increased awareness of learning disabilities and gifted education. Professionals and parents recognized a need for terminology reflecting these children’s multifaceted nature.
Identifying twice-exceptional students goes beyond simple IQ tests. It demands a nuanced understanding of both their strengths and struggles. This can feel overwhelming, especially when those executive function struggles might look like “laziness” or “defiance” to those unfamiliar with 2e traits but it is important to look beyond the surface to see the areas where the child excels.
Interestingly, there’s often significant overlap between the characteristics of twice-exceptional children and those identified as highly sensitive. Imagine a child deeply moved by music but overwhelmed by loud noises. Or picture a kid bursting with ideas but paralyzed by perfectionism when writing them down. These intense experiences are common threads weaving through both 2e and high sensitivity.
Understanding this intersection helps tailor your approach. It allows you to see their behaviors through the lens of both their giftedness and their heightened sensitivity.
Recognizing 2e traits empowers parents to understand, support, and advocate for their kids effectively. Here are a few scenarios that might resonate:
Navigating the educational system as the parent of a 2e child often requires you to be a staunch advocate. This starts with seeking accurate identification and diagnosis. Look for professionals well-versed in both giftedness and learning disabilities. A neuropsychological assessment can help pinpoint strengths, challenges, and co-occurring diagnoses, like ADHD or autism spectrum disorder, which commonly present alongside giftedness.
Even when identified, securing appropriate support within traditional school settings can be tricky. As The Child Mind Institute points out, schools are often structured around achieving “grade-level” benchmarks. So, a 2e child performing “adequately,” despite their struggles, may not receive necessary interventions. This often leads parents to explore alternative options.
These options include specialized schools or homeschooling resources. Keep in mind that getting the supports these children need in school often requires clear communication and collaboration with educators. Familiarize yourself with your rights and available options, potentially even seeking guidance from organizations like The National Center for Learning Disabilities.
Supporting a 2e child requires understanding, patience, and a willingness to adapt your approach. Here are some tips to foster their growth:
Highlight and nurture their areas of brilliance. Enroll them in activities that ignite their passion, even if those passions seem advanced for their age. Maybe it’s a coding camp, a writing workshop, or a mentorship program for young scholars. These outlets allow gifted students to flourish and build self-esteem.
As they experience success, their confidence can spill over into areas where they face challenges. This reminds them (and you.) that they are not defined solely by their struggles. It celebrates their exceptional abilities and encourages them to embrace their unique talents.
Accommodations tailored to your child’s learning style and needs are crucial for academic success. Whether it’s assistive technology for reading or breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, these strategies don’t lower expectations; they simply provide the scaffolding for your child to demonstrate their knowledge and capabilities effectively.
Open communication between home and school is essential. Share your insights about your child’s strengths, struggles, and what motivates them. If you hit roadblocks within your child’s school, reach out to other parents online or in person. Doing so can provide you with a wealth of information. This can offer insight into specialized programs, accommodations, and strategies that you may not be familiar with.
Parenting a twice-exceptional child is a marathon, not a sprint. Progress may not always be linear. Celebrate the small wins, be kind to yourself during setbacks, and don’t underestimate connecting with other parents who “get” it.
Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Seeking out support groups, online communities, or even just a trusted friend to confide in can provide much-needed perspective and encouragement along the way.
One common myth is that 2e kids should excel in all areas. In reality, their giftedness and challenges coexist, creating a unique profile of strengths and weaknesses. Another misconception is that they don’t need support, assuming their gifts will automatically compensate for their difficulties.
However, 2e kids require tailored interventions and accommodations to reach their full potential. It’s important to address their specific needs rather than relying on generalizations or assumptions. Some children may even struggle with behavioral issues, so understanding their learning problems is key to providing effective support.
This is a frustrating situation faced by many parents of 2e kids. Document your child’s strengths and struggles. Gather evidence of their advanced abilities (test scores, work samples, anecdotal observations) and any challenges they experience. Schedule a meeting with their teacher and/or the school psychologist to discuss your concerns and advocate for appropriate assessment and support services.
Resources like the Davidson Institute provide helpful tools. They provide guidance for navigating advocacy and finding suitable programs, including those focused on transitioning twice-exceptional children into adulthood.
Yes, unfortunately, traits of twice-exceptional children can be easily overlooked or misinterpreted in girls. This is particularly true for those who are gifted with a learning disability. Societal expectations and unconscious bias can lead to girls’ giftedness being masked by their efforts to conform or please adults.
Their struggles might be attributed to being “too quiet,” “too emotional,” or simply “not trying hard enough.” If you suspect your daughter might be 2e, pay close attention to her interests, passions, and any inconsistencies between her abilities and academic performance.
Raising a child who is twice-exceptional offers an adventure filled with unique rewards and complexities. You’ll face moments of both exhilaration and exhaustion as you strive to meet their needs, which often seem to pull in opposite directions.
By focusing on the whole child, fostering a love for their inherent strengths, and tirelessly advocating for appropriate support and understanding, you’re giving them the greatest gift of all. You’re giving them the freedom to embrace their authentic selves and thrive in a world not always designed for their brilliant, beautiful minds.
Decoding the Traits of Twice-Exceptional Children
Jill Gilbert
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