Parenting is no walk in the park, but it’s particularly challenging when you have a highly sensitive child. Tantrums in Target, tears over a broken cookie, and a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the day are familiar territory.
You adore your deeply feeling kiddo, but you might secretly wish for a little less intensity, right? We get it. It’s natural to wonder how to build resilience in a highly sensitive child. Let’s discuss some techniques to equip your sensitive kiddo to handle the world’s sharp edges.
Firstly, let’s squash that misconception that sensitivity is a weakness. Think about it: sensitivity can be a strength, especially in today’s world. This difference in emotional expression can be a superpower. As a parent, learning how to support highly sensitive children is key to their emotional development.
Sensitive souls are often the first to notice a change in someone’s mood, offer comfort to a classmate, or even root for the underdog in a movie. They possess a deep well of empathy and often think deeply about the world around them. They simply experience life with more depth.
Famous psychologist, Elaine Aron, has dedicated her work to researching high sensitivity. She states 15-20% of children fall into the highly sensitive category.
Knowing your child’s unique sensitivities empowers you to create supportive environments where they can thrive. As you parent your child, keep in mind that sensory sensitivity and emotional sensitivity go hand-in-hand. It can feel overwhelming at times, but with the right support, sensitive kids grow up to live fulfilling lives.
Sensory overload can trigger big reactions in young children. This doesn’t mean you need to transform your home into a silent, padded cell. Instead, try a few simple tweaks to make their environment feel safe:
Highly sensitive children might not instinctively know how to navigate their powerful emotions. Just like learning to ride a bike, mastering emotional responses takes practice. The key? Adjusting your parenting style and openly acknowledging and validating their feelings. This encourages emotional expression which is crucial for helping them navigate these big feelings.
| Scenario | Helpful Response | Why This Works |
|---|---|---|
| Tantrum because they wanted the red cup, not the blue one. | “Wow, I can see you’re super frustrated right now. I know it’s hard when you don’t get what you want.” | Validates their feelings without judgment and lets them know you see their struggle. |
| Meltdown because they lost their favorite toy. | “I understand you’re feeling sad. Losing a special toy can be upsetting. Let’s see if we can find it together.” | Labeling the emotion (“sad”) helps them understand and process their feelings more easily. |
Afterwards, it can be important to embrace family time with your sensitive child. It is in these moments that you are also learning how to raise highly sensitive children.
Positive self-talk helps everyone, particularly kids who easily absorb negativity. Instead of “Don’t be scared” (which dismisses their feelings) try these positive affirmations:
When overwhelmed by feelings, even adults sometimes forget they have choices. By role-playing different situations and solutions, you can equip your little one to confidently navigate challenges:
It can be very beneficial for children to observe how their parents feel and how they express those feelings. Observing how to do this with a trusted adult is a great first step in children learning how to navigate their big feelings.
Predictability helps ease anxiety. A consistent daily routine (with wiggle room for flexibility, of course) gives sensitive children a sense of safety and control. Think about how you can bring routine to different aspects of their life:
Every kid wants to feel useful. Even small acts of helpfulness can boost your sensitive child’s self-esteem. Encourage them to help with simple tasks:
Our culture often emphasizes achievement over effort. But, for sensitive children, simply trying something new or facing a fear is a HUGE accomplishment, regardless of the result. Notice their bravery, perseverance, and kindness.
Encourage them with genuine praise. Over time, your consistent affirmations will become internalized, boosting their self-confidence and resilience. Remember that true resilience is about navigating life’s ups and downs with a healthy balance of sensitivity and strength.
It’s not about becoming immune to challenges, but about developing coping mechanisms and a positive outlook.
This is a tough one. Determining high sensitivity takes careful observation. While some phases pass, consistent patterns of intense emotional reactions, sensory sensitivities, and empathy might indicate a highly sensitive temperament. If you’re unsure, talking to a mental health professional about your child’s emotions can be helpful.
Anxiety can go hand-in-hand with high sensitivity, but it shouldn’t rule their world. If anxieties impact their daily life, reach out to therapists or counselors with experience supporting sensitive children. A safe place to discuss their anxiety can make all the difference.
Absolutely. You’re not alone on this journey. There are many blog sites that offer a safe space for parents in a similar position. In fact, if you go to this link, you can join a group of parents of highly sensitive kids that would love to connect with you and help you through this journey.
Building resilience in a highly sensitive child is a journey paved with patience, understanding, and an abundance of love. Celebrate their unique gifts, nurture their emotional intelligence, and provide a safe space where their big hearts can flourish. Because teaching your child how to build resilience is one of the most impactful things you’ll ever do. As sensitive children thrive, they often become sensitive adults who contribute deeply to the world. Don’t just love them for their strengths; love them for all they are.
How to Build Resilience in a Highly Sensitive Child? A Guide for Parents
Jill Gilbert
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