As a parent of a highly sensitive child, you know everyday social situations can be challenging. Social stories offer a gentle, supportive way to help sensitive kids prepare for, understand, and manage these situations. They can be a complete game-changer for these little ones.
Despite the name, social stories aren’t just about teaching social skills. They’re actually about building confidence, reducing anxiety, and empowering sensitive kids when it comes to new experiences. The goal is to help your child navigate the world with greater ease and feel prepared. Social stories also offer your child an opportunity to express any big feelings and ask any questions before they engage in this new activity. Let’s continue exploring this topic and learn how to best implement social stories into your child’s life.
A social story is a short, personalized narrative describing a specific social situation, such as going to a new place to eat or going on a trip in a plane. It breaks the whole scenario down into smaller, manageable steps, often with visuals. This gives sensitive kids a clear understanding of what to expect.
These stories also help improve social skills by modeling appropriate behaviors and responses. New activities can already be anxiety inducing for your HSC, so knowing what’s expected socially can ease a lot of their anxiety. Social stories also enhance emotional regulation by letting kids know they can use simple coping strategies like deep breathing, asking for breaks, and using helpful fidgets or weighted blankets. Additionally, transitions, which can be particularly difficult for highly sensitive children, become easier with stories that provide guidance and reassurance.
Consider your child’s sensitivities and challenges. Does your child struggle with birthday parties? Maybe starting school is difficult. Perhaps loud noises at the grocery store are overwhelming.
Social stories can help ease these common struggles. They can also help children identify their feelings and communicate them better. Learning how to use social stories to manage emotions is an extremely helpful skill for your HSC to learn.
You can make social stories in different ways. One option is writing everything out in large text, with photos, in PowerPoint slides. You can then show this to your child digitally or print it out for them to hold and look at as you read the social story to them. There are also some apps, such as Pictello, where you can write all of the material, insert pictures, and then it will read it to your child. This option is particularly good for outings where they may need reminders on the go and can rewatch it as needed. Ultimately, any way you decide to make a social story for your child will be helpful and teach them what to prepare for.
First and foremost, clearly define the situation causing difficulty. For example, instead of addressing the concept of sharing generally, focus on sharing specific toys on playdates. You may begin by saying something like, “When I go to Robin’s house, I can practice waiting my turn to play with the toy car. I can ask Robin for a turn and wait patiently for my turn. Once they are ready to share, I will get my turn. Later on, if Robin asks to play with my toy car, I can share with them. I can take deep breaths if I am feeling frustrated.”
When you create this social story, you would include pictures of the specific toy car in question and offer related visuals for deep breathing, turn taking, etc. It is extremely useful to write it in first person so that your child knows it relates directly to them. Also, be sure to use positive language and be clear and concise.
Here’s another example to help paint a clearer picture: consider your child becomes very overstimulated and has meltdowns inside of grocery stores. Instead of writing about grocery stores in general, address one aspect. For example, you can describe how it is normal for a highly sensitive person to feel overwhelmed by the bright lights. In order to make the social story as effective as possible, try including pictures of the actual grocery store in question. This allows your child to familiarize themselves with the grocery store environment without actually being there.
You can use language like “When I am in the grocery store, the lights may be bright. I can bring my sunglasses inside or wear a hat to block the light. If I start feeling frustrated, I can ask mom for my fidget to help calm my body down.” You can change this and tailor it to your child’s specific needs, but this is the general idea involved in the creation of a social story.
Frame the story positively and encouragingly. Build your child’s self-esteem and emphasize their strengths. The experience should feel emotionally safe and not punitive.
A social story can teach children about social situations and help with social skills. They can help teach a child what they should be thinking and doing, as well as giving examples and showing photos. A lot of HSC are highly intuitive and feel so deeply that being told what is expected in certain situations can bring them a lot of peace. It narrows down what feelings they can focus on instead of taking in everything at once. And, most importantly, social stories help provide them strategies in case they are having a hard time doing this.
Sensitive children can easily become overwhelmed. Stick to simple vocabulary that they know, use short sentences, and easy sequencing in social stories. This keeps things from being overstimulating for your child and ensures that they are able to comprehend the main points.
Many highly sensitive kids respond well to visuals. You can use simple drawings or photos to aid comprehension. Visual aids can help convey simple messages, which can be particularly useful for younger children and help keep them engaged.
To engage them even more, try incorporating your child’s favorite items, foods, or animals into the stories. Consider a beloved animal as the main character.The possibilities are endless, so be creative! Every child processes and learns things differently, so trying out different methods with your child is the best way to figure out what works.
Let’s take this scenario for example: your child is scared of going on the elevator. In your social story, try including real life pictures of the elevator, or elevators that look very similar. Letting your child see these things in a situation where they are calm and not anxious is a great way to expose them to it safely. This gives them a chance to inspect the image, get comfortable with it, and ask questions if they want to. This provides both of you with a great opportunity to address any big feelings about the elevator and figure out strategies that can be used to help them feel better.
If possible, involve your child by letting them choose or add photos. Have them add images, stickers, or help write the text. Let their personality shine through.
A social story can benefit from helping child take ownership of it, encouraging engagement. It also helps children understand they can communicate about their needs and that you are here to support them them through it all.
Suppose your child has a hard time with transitions, like switching to a new activity. They feel big emotions and may struggle to express them appropriately. Social stories can teach children what they can do in a situation like this and how to regulate their bodies.The added visual elements often benefit sensitive kids with potential language delays and who may require speech therapy, making stories benefit sensitive children of all ability levels.
Here’s an example of a social story:
Sometimes, I love playing Legos.
It’s so fun and creative. I can build anything I want.
(Insert photo of one of their lego creations)
But, soon, Mommy or Daddy will let me know it’s time to switch activities.
This means switching to a different activity. It doesn’t mean putting all the toys away or that it’s bedtime.
(Insert photo of their bed or toy bin)
Maybe the next activity is story time. I can pick out my favorite story that makes me happy and makes my body feel calm.
(Insert a picture of their favorite book)
Switching toys lets me keep my creative thoughts going. It’s more fun because I don’t have to switch all my toys at once. This sometimes makes me feel sad or mad.
If switching activities makes me upset, I will use my words to explain how I feel. My deep breathing tools give me space to have new ideas about what’s happening.
(Include a photo of a child taking a deep breath)
Switching to a new activity is hard. But I know it might lead to another fun activity, or maybe snuggles. It will feel easier when mama sees how brave I am with hard transitions. This is one of the ways books read can have a major benefit.
(Include a picture of them where they feel happy)
| Resource | Description |
|---|---|
| ECLKC | Provides a great overview of Social Stories for kids with downloadable story examples. |
| Watson Institute | Specializes in helping children and adults with special needs with free downloadable social stories. |
| Offers tips and resources for helping highly sensitive children of all ages. | |
| And Next Comes L | Provides gentle examples of social stories that address feelings and various situations for HSC who need support. |
Social stories are short, personalized narratives designed to teach children, especially those who are highly sensitive, how to navigate specific social situations. They are written in simple, clear and positive language and often include visual aids to enhance understanding. These stories help by breaking down complex or overwhelming scenarios, such as making a friend, handling disappointment, or transitioning to a new activity, into manageable steps.
For highly sensitive children, social stories can provide a sense of predictability and reduce anxiety by preparing them for what to expect and how to respond appropriately. This structured guidance fosters emotional resilience, social confidence, and a greater sense of security in various environments.
No, highly sensitive children do not grow out of it. High sensitivity is an innate trait some children are born with. These deeply feeling children will continue to feel this way their entire lives, but the way it looks may change as they mature. They will learn strategies over their lifetime that will change the way their high sensitivity looks, but they will always be highly sensitive.
You can support your highly sensitive child by creating a nurturing environment that validates their emotions and helps them develop coping strategies. Open communication is key; you should encourage their child to express their feelings while offering reassurance and guidance. Introducing tools like social stories can be particularly effective in preparing highly sensitive children for challenging or new experiences. By using simple, tailored narratives, parents can help their child understand what to expect in different scenarios, from meeting new people to dealing with change.
Additionally, maintaining consistent routines, offering sensory breaks, and modeling calm behavior can help the child feel safe and supported. Through patience and empathy, you can empower your highly sensitive child to build confidence and resilience.
Social stories empower sensitive kids as they learn how to navigate the world. By breaking complex situations into manageable parts and using positive, clear language, social stories boost confidence and equip children with the tools to approach challenges with greater ease.
A sensitive child’s world is one with brighter colors, stronger feelings, and louder surroundings, so offering tools like this can be invaluable. Not only do social stories help reinforce expectations and prepare children for new situations, but, they also remind the child that there is someone on their side listening to their concerns and finding ways to help address them. Creating social stories about your highly sensitive child’s life reminds them that you are there for them, that you will help them find strategies to succeed, and that they will learn how to thrive alongside their high sensitivity.
Nurturing Highly Sensitive Children: The Power of Social Stories
Jill Gilbert
Published by
