Do you ever feel like your child experiences the world in high-definition compared to those around them? This depth of feeling is a hallmark of highly sensitive people or highly sensitive children (HSCs), who make up about 15-20% of the population. It’s not a disorder, just a unique way of experiencing the world. Supporting highly sensitive kids means understanding their intense emotions, heightened senses, and deep thinking.

It’s important to remember, though, high sensitivity is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Every HSC is different. While some retreat from chaos, others thrive on social interaction –  they just feel it all much more intensely. Let’s explore how we can support highly sensitive children and find some new parenting strategies along the way.

Recognizing a Highly Sensitive Child

Is your child highly sensitive? Identifying key characteristics can be difficult at first because every child is different. But, once you learn what to look for, it can help you recognize their big feelings and detect subtle behavioral changes.

According to Laura Greenberg, a psychotherapist based in Canada, “There are a lot of benefits to being a sensitive person.” They are often the deep thinkers, notice the smallest details, and feel a wide range of emotions deeply. But this also means they might:

• Become overwhelmed in busy environments
• Have strong emotional reactions to seemingly minor events 
• Need more downtime than their peers 
• Be deeply affected by criticism, both real and perceived

Sensory Overload is Real

HSCs don’t just experience emotions intensely; they process sensory information differently. These sensitive souls might be extra sensitive to bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, or even scratchy clothing. Think about how overstimulating a busy grocery store or birthday party can be for a child who is easily overwhelmed. Even the hum of fluorescent lights or the smell of cleaning products can trigger a meltdown.

Emotional Depth

If you’ve ever felt consistently overwhelmed by your child’s extreme feelings, then chances are you are navigating the world of highly sensitive child parenting. They feel everything, from joy to sadness to anger, with their whole being. 

Remember the story of Simba feeling responsible for his father’s death in the Lion King?  For a sensitive child, fictional stories and characters can evoke the same depth of feeling as real-life events.

Practical Tips for Supporting Highly Sensitive Kids

Knowing your child is highly sensitive is the first step. But how do you actually parent in a way that nurtures their unique spirit? Remember, it’s not about changing who they are, but about giving them the tools to thrive.

Create a Calm Environment

Turning down the lights, minimizing loud noises, and having a quiet space where your child can retreat when overstimulated can make a world of difference. Think cozy blankets, soft lighting, maybe even a calming essential oil diffuser. This sanctuary can be their haven for emotional regulation.

Validate, Validate, Validate

HSCs often feel like their emotions are “too much” for those around them. Let them know it’s okay to feel deeply.  Instead of dismissing their feelings (“It’s just a game, don’t be upset”), try acknowledging them (“I understand that you’re feeling disappointed because you didn’t win”). This validation goes a long way in building trust and emotional intelligence. 

Prioritize Downtime

After a day of sensory and emotional bombardment, HSCs need time to recharge. Think quiet reading time, drawing, or simply relaxing in their “calm space.”

Structured alone time allows them to process their experiences and regulate their emotions. And remember, even if they are social butterflies, too much stimulation can leave them feeling emotionally drained.

Routine is Key

Knowing what to expect provides comfort and stability. It doesn’t need to be complicated. Even small, consistent routines – like reading together before bedtime or having a regular family mealtime – can help them feel safe and secure.

The Art of Gentle Discipline

Supporting highly sensitive kids requires a more nuanced approach to discipline than traditional timeouts or punishments. This is where the real work comes in. Gentle discipline techniques, such as using empathy and positive reinforcement, are much more effective.

• Get on Their Level, Literally: Kneel down so you’re eye-to-eye, speaking in a calm, gentle voice. It communicates respect and understanding
• Give Choices, Not Ultimatums:  Offer limited choices to give them a sense of control, which helps reduce power struggles.  Instead of “Go clean your room now.”,  try “Would you like to tidy up your toys or make your bed first?” 
• Teach Self-Regulation Techniques: Help them identify and manage their big emotions. Breathing exercises, such as the box breathing method, are fantastic tools. Try this with them: breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4. Repeat until they are calmer.

Navigating School Challenges

The school environment can be tricky for HSCs, especially when they encounter insensitive teachers or are thrown into the chaos of a busy classroom. Partnering with the school is essential to ensuring your child’s needs are met. 

Talk to teachers about your child’s sensitivity and how they can be best supported. Request accommodations like providing a quiet space in the classroom or giving breaks for sensory overload.

Embrace Their Strengths.

Supporting highly sensitive kids isn’t all about navigating challenges. Remember to focus on the positive. HSCs often possess remarkable strengths:

• Empathy Superstars: They feel deeply for others, making them compassionate friends and future leaders
• Creativity Powerhouse: Because they experience the world so vividly, they often express themselves in creative ways. Encourage art, music, storytelling—anything that lets them tap into their rich inner world
• Intuitive Thinkers: Their deep processing leads to thoughtful insights and often an advanced vocabulary and sense of understanding beyond their years

When HSP Overlaps with Other Challenges

If your child is a highly sensitive person (HSP), they may have been compared to an autistic person. It’s critical to differentiate high sensitivity from conditions like autism or sensory processing disorder (SPD), although some characteristics may overlap.  SPS is not a disorder and is not the same as sensory processing disorder (SPD).  

It’s always best to consult with a child psychologist or therapist for a professional evaluation if you are concerned. Getting the right support can make a world of difference.

FAQs about Supporting Highly Sensitive Kids

Is HSP neurodivergent?

While some experts consider HSP a form of neurodivergence, others believe it falls within the spectrum of normal human variation. More research is needed on this.

Do highly sensitive children grow out of it?

High sensitivity is an innate trait, so while they won’t “grow out” of it, they do learn to navigate the world more effectively. As HSCs mature, they develop coping strategies for managing their sensitivities.

How can I best support my HSC?

Supporting your HSC can feel difficult at times, so it is extremely important to take good care of yourself and your own mental health. Doing so ensures that you can give the appropriate energy to your child and find strategies that work for them. Be patient–it can take a while to figure out what works best for your child. Over time, you will find strategies that work for them at home and at school, and it’ll become second nature. 

Conclusion

Supporting highly sensitive kids requires patience, understanding, and a shift in perspective. It’s about celebrating their strengths while also providing tools and support. By embracing their uniqueness, we empower HSCs to navigate the world with confidence and compassion, becoming the thoughtful, insightful individuals they were born to be.