Chances are if you’re here, you have a sensitive child who’s struggling. Maybe your usually sunny kid is having more meltdowns, or perhaps they’re acting withdrawn. As parents, we want to fix things and make the hurt go away. But sometimes, traditional “talking it out” just doesn’t work for younger kids. This is where play therapy steps in, offering a powerful way for children to process emotions, communicate experiences, and learn coping skills – all through the language they know best: play.
While playing with friends is part of a natural and healthy childhood, play therapy is different. It’s a structured form of therapy rooted in the idea that play is how children make sense of their world. It evolved over time, with significant contributions from pioneers like Anna Freud and Melanie Klein. It was Virginia Axline, however, who honed in on play’s therapeutic power for children, shaping what we know as play therapy today. Axline’s approach emphasized building a trusting relationship with the child, allowing them to lead the play, and believing in their innate capacity for growth and healing. Let’s take a closer look at play therapy and get a glimpse at what it looks like in action.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “They get to play during therapy?” Although it sounds simple, there’s more to it than meets the eye. Imagine a room filled with toys—art supplies, dolls, sandboxes, building blocks—each one a potential tool for expression.
Within this space, a registered play therapist carefully observes how your child interacts, the stories they create, and the emotions they express (or try to hide) through play. According to psychology today, a play therapist is a licensed mental health professional who has earned a Master’s or Doctorate degree and completed additional, specialized training, and supervised experience in play therapy. And, they have a broad understanding of human development and strategies that are able to meet your child where they are developmentally with play.
Play therapists provide a safe and supportive environment where highly sensitive children can express themselves, process their emotions, and build resilience through play. They use child-centered techniques that honor the child’s unique needs and sensitivities, helping them navigate overwhelming feelings or experiences in a way that feels comfortable and empowering.
Through activities like role-playing, storytelling, and creative expression, play therapists foster emotional regulation, strengthen self-esteem, and teach coping skills that align with the child’s natural strengths. By meeting the child where they are, play therapists can help them develop a sense of confidence and security in their own abilities to manage the world around them.
Let’s talk about our little deep-feelers, those highly sensitive children who seem to experience everything with an extra dose of intensity. These kiddos, though wonderfully intuitive and empathetic, might struggle to articulate their big feelings or bounce back quickly from setbacks.
This is where play therapy becomes particularly beneficial. The therapy room acts as a safe space where they can process those emotions at their own pace, through symbols and stories, without the pressure of finding the “right” words. In fact, this type of therapy allows them a safe place to communicate their feelings without ever speaking, if that feels right for them. Rest assured, the play therapist will find other ways to communicate with your child and help them regardless. Play therapy is about meeting children where they are and helping them communicate how they want to.
So, how can you, a busy parent who’s not a trained therapist, use these principles at home? Here are some tips, remembering each child is unique:
Think of yourself as your child’s assistant, not the director, in their play. Instead of dictating how a dollhouse family should behave, follow their cues. Ask open-ended questions: “Tell me about that dinosaur’s day. What happened?” Pay attention; their play might be trying to tell you something.
This is especially important, because sometimes it can feel simpler to engage in a way that works best for you. Let’s take this scenario for example: you and your child are playing with a set of blocks they have with different colors and letters on them. It might feel easier for you to hold the block up and ask them, “What color is this?” or “What sound does this letter make?”. As a result, your child might lose interested quickly and begin to withdraw. In turn, this might frustrate you because you don’t feel like they want to play. While this may seem like “playing” to you, to them, it feels more like being quizzed on academics.
Play is their time to shine, so let them take the reins. At first, a lot of this may look like taking a step back, watching, and waiting. Learning to listen to your child’s cues during play is extremely important, as it helps your child feel seen and heard. This can look different from child to child, but just remember, they are in charge when it comes to play. Be silly, do things you wouldn’t normally do, and listen. Once you learn what your child prefers, it unlocks a whole new world of opportunities for your play time together.
Having a safe, designated area where your child can fully immerse themselves in play (without fear of judgment or constantly being told to “be careful”) can be very helpful, especially for those kiddos managing a lot of big emotions. Think comfy pillows, calming colors—a cozy retreat where their imaginations can run wild. Your child can go to this place to play privately, relax, and regroup.
Another option many parents like for more active kiddos are crash pads. These can be moved anywhere in the house, washed, and used daily by your kids for rough and tumble play, or for relaxing. Crashing involves some very regulating proprioceptive input for them. Since it can be so regulating, your child may begin to naturally go to these areas in moments of distress in order to settle down. You should encourage this, and if it feels right, even jump in with them are describe how it makes your body feel. Modeling this language can be a very useful tool for helping them improve body awareness.
There are so many different kinds of play you can engage in with your child, so test the waters, see what works for them, and get creative.
When your child acts out a scene with their toys where someone is angry or upset, avoid launching into “Why would you say that?.” Instead, try reflecting back: “That sounds like a frustrating situation for the bunny; he seems sad.” Validating their feelings, even those expressed through a stuffed animal, helps your child feel heard and understood.
Playing this way and modeling emotional mature conversations allows your child to see healthy dynamics play out in a safe place. It also helps lay a solid foundation for your relationship with your child. Even though you are “playing”, when your child sees you communicate about difficult topics in a healthy way, they are more likely to come to you when hard things are effecting them in everyday life. Having this kind of relationship not only makes play more fun and effective for them, it also helps you gain insight into their feelings and thought patterns.
Now for the important part: does play therapy actually work, or is it all fun and games? Play therapy’s benefits are well-documented, with studies from various organizations, including the Center for Play Therapy, showcasing its effectiveness across a variety of childhood issues. Research suggests that 71% of children who participate in play therapy demonstrate improvements in their behavior and overall well-being. A 2018 study observed noticeable positive effects on the social interactions and communication skills of children who engaged in play therapy.
Parenting is hard. Sometimes, it can make you question every decision. If your child is battling challenging emotions, if you’re constantly feeling lost, remember, it’s not about magically erasing those hard parts of their journey—it’s about equipping them (and you) with the tools to navigate them with more understanding and resilience.
Just like adults may choose therapy for personal growth, play therapy offers a path for children to grow and heal through the language of play, unlocking their inner strength and wisdom.
Play therapy is a form of counseling or psychotherapy that uses play to help children communicate their thoughts, feelings and experiences. During play therapy sessions, a trained therapist provides a safe and structured environment filled with carefully chosen toys and materials.
Although there are more than three, here are three core functions of play therapy. First, it provides a safe and structured environment for children to express their thoughts and feelings through play. Second, play therapy facilitates emotional regulation and coping mechanisms. Through play, children can experiment with different ways of managing difficult emotions, such as anger, sadness, or anxiety. And finally, play therapy fosters problem-solving skills and resilience. Play provides opportunities for children to face challenges, try out different solutions, and learn from their experiences.
While play therapy is generally recommended for children between the ages of 3 and 12, even teens and adults can sometimes benefit from its principles and adaptations. Each child is different and your unique situation should be taken into account by a professional when deciding if play therapy is right for your family.
What is play therapy? It is a window into your child’s emotional world, a form of therapy where dolls and blocks become tools for healing and communication. This understanding doesn’t require you to be a therapist yourself. By embracing the principles of play, creating a safe space for expression, and responding with empathy rather than correction, you can build a stronger, more connected relationship with your child while providing them with invaluable tools to navigate their emotional landscape.
What is Play Therapy? The Game-Changing Approach Your Sensitive Child Might Need
Jill Gilbert
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