Appreciating Sensitivity as a Mom to a Sensitive Child
Hi, I'm Jill!
I’m a mama-in-training of a highly sensitive son. I love yoga pants, dungeness crab season, and working from my San Francisco flat in my PJs. My mission? To help other mamas raise a thriving highly sensitive child without losing their ever-lovin’ minds!
Parenting a highly sensitive child may come with unique challenges, but it also offers the opportunity to witness the beauty of their heightened awareness and emotional depth. Their ability to notice the little things—like a kind word, a beautiful sunset, or someone else’s unspoken needs—can bring a sense of wonder and connection to everyday moments.
Appreciating sensitivity as the mother of a highly sensitive child can bring unexpected joy. By shifting your perspective, you can see their sensitivity as a superpower that fosters creativity, empathy, and insight. This outlook not only helps your child embrace who they are but also strengthens your bond, as you become their advocate and guide in navigating a world that may sometimes feel overwhelming. Ultimately, appreciating their sensitivity allows both of you to find joy in their unique way of experiencing life.
Around 20% of children are highly sensitive. This isn’t a disorder, but rather, an inborn temperament trait also known as sensory processing sensitivity. Whether it’s noise, light, texture, or emotions, it can make everyday situations feel quickly overstimulating for them. As Dr. Elaine Aron describes, these kids simply process information more deeply than those around them.
They notice subtleties others miss, making them extremely perceptive, empathetic, and creative. This heightened perception often translates into a rich inner world, where they are more attuned to their imagination and can express complex feelings and ideas through art, music, writing, or other creative outlets. These traits combined make highly sensitive children more inclined to explore creative avenues, where they can channel their emotional richness and unique perspective into artistic endeavors.
This deep processing of their surroundings is often coupled with a deeper level of emotional processing, where they don’t just experience feelings but thoroughly absorb and reflect on them. For example, a highly sensitive child might feel sadness or joy more profoundly and dwell on these emotions longer than their peers. They also tend to think deeply about situations, behaviors, and events, often overanalyzing interactions or worrying about things that others might brush off. This depth of processing extends to their empathy as well, as they can be acutely attuned to the emotions of others, sometimes even to the point of feeling others’ pain or joy as their own.
The Challenges (and Opportunities)
Parenting a child highly sensitive to their environment comes with unique challenges that often require extra patience, flexibility, and understanding. One common challenge is navigating emotional overwhelm. Highly sensitive children may have intense reactions to situations that others might find minor, such as loud noises, crowded spaces, or unexpected changes in plans. For example, a family gathering might feel overstimulating, leading to tears or withdrawal. Helping them through these moments often means anticipating their needs, creating calm spaces, and teaching coping strategies.
However, the opportunities that come with raising a highly sensitive child can be incredibly rewarding. Their deep empathy and keen observation skills allow them to form profound connections with others. For instance, they may notice when a friend is feeling down and offer comfort without being asked, demonstrating emotional intelligence beyond their years. This empathy can also lead to strong family bonds, as they often value meaningful conversations and heartfelt moments. Their depth of processing means they tend to be thoughtful and creative, often coming up with insightful ideas or imaginative solutions to problems.
Appreciating Sensitivity as the Mother of a Highly Sensitive Child
Embracing high sensitivity as gift can change your whole outlook on your child’s life and yours.
Highly sensitive children have a remarkable ability to process experiences deeply, which can leads you to view the world through a fresh and thoughtful lens. Their keen awareness of emotions and subtleties can remind you to slow down and reflect on your own reactions and choices. For example, a highly sensitive child might ask profound questions about fairness, kindness, or the meaning behind actions, prompting you to consider perspectives you hadn’t before. Their deep processing often brings attention to the beauty in small moments, like the sound of rain or a thoughtful gesture, reminding parents to find joy in the simple things. Through their thoughtful reflections, they can teach you the value of patience, mindfulness, and emotional attunement, fostering a more intentional and compassionate approach to life.
Additionally, the heightened sensitivity of these children often leads them to form strong emotional connections with those around them, encouraging deeper empathy and understanding in relationships. Their ability to pick up on subtle cues—whether it’s a shift in tone of voice or a change in body language—can help you become more attuned to the emotional needs of others. This heightened emotional awareness can lead to more open, honest communication and a greater capacity for compassion with those around you.
Also, by observing how your child navigates and processes their emotions, you can learn valuable lessons about vulnerability and resilience, realizing that it’s okay to experience emotions deeply and that doing so can lead to greater personal growth and emotional clarity. The presence of a highly sensitive child in the family can inspire a richer, more mindful approach to your own emotional intelligence, creating a space where feelings are not only acknowledged but embraced.
Learning How to Appreciate High Sensitivity
Learning to appreciate high sensitivity from your child can be a transformative experience, but it often requires a significant shift in mindset. Highly sensitive children feel everything—joy, sadness, frustration, and excitement—more intensely, which can be challenging to navigate as a parent. It can be difficult to watch your child struggle with overwhelming emotions or discomfort in situations that seem manageable to others. Simple tasks like transitioning from one activity to another or attending social events may require extra planning and patience.
It’s easy to feel drained or frustrated when your child needs more reassurance and calming down than expected. However, it’s important to remember these same traits that make things challenging, also give your child that profound empathy and deep thinking that you love. They make your child uniquely themselves. By embracing their sensitivity as a strength rather than a limitation, you begin to see the world through their eyes, full of depth and nuance. This shift not only helps you support your child but also fosters a deeper understanding of their unique needs and experiences.
The reward for embracing and appreciating high sensitivity is profound. Your child’s ability to find beauty in the small details and their capacity for empathy can teach you to slow down and savor life’s quiet moments. You may discover new ways to connect emotionally and have richer, more meaningful conversations. Their sensitivity encourages you to become more present, patient, and compassionate—not just as a parent, but in all areas of life.
While it takes effort to adapt and understand, the bond you build by supporting your child’s emotional world is incredibly rewarding. Ultimately, learning to appreciate high sensitivity allows you to foster a nurturing, empathetic environment where both you and your child can thrive.
FAQs about appreciating sensitivity as the mother of a highly sensitive child
Do highly sensitive kids grow out of it?
High sensitivity is innate and children do not grow out of it. That said, kids learn, with our help, how to manage their sensitivities as they grow older.
How to parent as a highly sensitive person?
Recognize your own sensitivities. Build in quiet time. Allow extra time for daily hassles. Keep in mind, your child may be highly sensitive too. Research shows a significant intersection between highly sensitive parents and children.
Do highly sensitive people get sick more often?
Not necessarily more frequently, but more intensely. Highly sensitive people experience physical sensations deeply. A cold might come with extreme exhaustion from sensory overload.
Is life harder for a highly sensitive person?
Life can be more challenging for a highly sensitive person, as they often experience emotions more intensely and are more affected by sensory stimuli, social interactions, and environmental changes. This heightened sensitivity can make them more prone to stress, overwhelm, or anxiety, especially in situations that might not be as impactful for less sensitive people.
However, while these challenges can make certain aspects of life harder, they can also bring unique strengths, such as deep empathy, creativity, and a strong sense of intuition. With the right support and understanding, highly sensitive people can learn to manage their sensitivities and thrive.
Conclusion
Learning to appreciate your child’s high sensitivity is not only a journey of understanding their unique needs but also an invitation to embrace a richer, more mindful way of living. By recognizing their deep emotions, empathy, and thoughtful nature as strengths, you open yourself up to seeing the world through their eyes—full of beauty, nuance, and meaning. Their ability to notice small details, find joy in simple moments, and connect deeply with others offers a constant reminder to slow down and appreciate life’s subtleties.
This shift in perspective can lead you to savor everyday experiences, become more present, and develop greater patience and compassion in all areas of life. While the journey may have its challenges, the rewards are profound. In nurturing your child’s sensitivity, you cultivate a home grounded in empathy, patience, and presence, ultimately enriching your own life and strengthening the bond you share. Through their sensitivity, your child can teach you to find joy and meaning in life’s quiet, powerful moments, making the experience truly transformative.
Appreciating Sensitivity as a Mom to a Sensitive Child