As a mom of a highly sensitive child, I understand the struggle when family members just don’t get it. They might see your child’s intense reactions as dramatic or excessive, leaving you feeling frustrated and alone. It can feel very isolating when the people closest to you don’t seem to understand such an important part of who your child is.
This post gives advice on how to explain being highly sensitive to family members. I’ll share practical tips and real-world examples to help bridge the understanding gap and create a more supportive environment for your sensitive child.
Let’s clarify what high sensitivity truly means. It’s not a defect in the slightest; it’s actually a personality trait called Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Dr. Elaine Aron, a leading researcher in this field, has found SPS present in over 100 species. Approximately 15-20% of people are highly sensitive.
It’s a deeper way of processing and responding to everything, including bright lights, loud noises, and other people’s emotions. Highly sensitive children feel things so deeply that it can make seemingly small triggers seem like major obstacles.
Discussing high sensitivity with family requires patience and a clear approach, especially if it’s a new concept for them.
Don’t blame family members for being insensitive, they likely have no idea that they are being rude. Instead, share information about high sensitivity. Use resources like this article or Dr. Aron’s book, The Highly Sensitive Person, for an expert perspective.
Explain that being highly sensitive involves experiencing the world more intensely, both positively and negatively. Let them know that your child’s big reactions are a result of them not knowing how to regulate this intensity but that you are working together to give them the skills they need.
General descriptions often don’t resonate with family members, but stories and examples will. “Remember how Liam had a hard time staying at the table during Thanksgiving dinner? That’s his highly sensitive nervous system getting overwhelmed.”
Relating specific incidents involving your highly sensitive child and personalizing it a bit helps illustrate the concept more clearly. This helps your family members understand what it’s like to experience hypersensitivity. You can also draw in examples about things they might be sensitive about, and explain that this is what your child feels all the time. Finding ways to show them, rather than just tell them, can be very effective in getting the point across. When they start to empathize, they might just begin to understand high sensitivity a little more clearly.
High sensitivity may lead to meltdowns. However, it also fosters deep empathy, appreciation of beauty, and strong inner connections. Highlight your child’s unique talents, like creativity and kindness.
Showcasing the positive aspects of sensitivity provides a balanced perspective. It helps family appreciate the full picture of this personality trait and moves away from the notion that being highly sensitive is a negative thing.
Education empowers family members with tools to interact effectively with your child. You can also share specific examples of situations that might overwhelm your child, such as loud noises, sudden changes, or intense criticism.
Encourage family members to approach interactions with patience, using a calm tone and giving the child time to process their emotions. Highlight the importance of validating the child’s feelings without dismissing them, even if their reactions seem minor. Provide alternatives to common interactions, such as gentle encouragement instead of pressure, and suggest creating quiet spaces with dim lighting during gatherings where the child can retreat if needed. Finally, remind them that their efforts to adjust will help the child feel secure and supported, ultimately strengthening family bonds.
A highly sensitive child is one who experiences the world more intensely than their peers due to heightened emotional, sensory, and environmental awareness. They may be deeply affected by loud noises, bright lights, strong emotions, or sudden changes, and often process experiences more deeply. These children tend to be empathetic, observant, and intuitive but may become easily overwhelmed or stressed in stimulating environments. Their sensitivity is a natural trait, not a problem, and can be nurtured into a strength with the right support and understanding.
Educating your family members about having a highly sensitive child requires a balance of empathy, clear communication, and actionable advice. Start by explaining what high sensitivity means, framing it as a natural personality trait rather than a weakness. Share examples of how your child experiences the world, such as being easily overwhelmed by noise or requiring more time to adjust to changes.
Emphasize that your goal is to help the child thrive, not to impose restrictions on family dynamics. Provide practical tips, like using a calm tone, being patient during emotional moments, and avoiding overly critical or abrupt interactions. If possible, recommend books, articles, or resources about highly sensitive children to deepen their understanding. Lastly, acknowledge their efforts to adjust and explain how their support can make a positive impact on the child’s confidence and relationship with the family.
In conclusion, explaining to family members that your child is highly sensitive is a crucial step in fostering a supportive and understanding environment where your child can thrive. High sensitivity is a natural trait, not a flaw, but it can be easily misunderstood without proper context. By educating your family about what it means to be highly sensitive, you help them recognize how your child experiences the world differently. Share specific examples, such as how your child may react to loud noises, sudden changes, or criticism, to illustrate their needs. Offering practical advice—like being patient, using a calm tone, and validating emotions—gives your family members the tools to interact with your child in a way that respects their sensitivity and promotes their well-being.
Taking these steps can significantly improve how your child connects with their extended family and boosts their sense of security in social settings. When family members understand and adjust, your child is more likely to feel accepted, valued, and confident. Over time, these efforts strengthen family bonds, fostering a more inclusive and empathetic dynamic. While it may require some initial effort and patience to educate others, the long-term benefits for your child’s emotional health and the family’s relationships are well worth it.
How to Explain Being Highly Sensitive to Family: A Guide
Jill Gilbert
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